In Mumosho, like in Eastern Congo in general, women are more or less considered a production unit: they should give birth to many children (and absolutely not only girls), take care of the house and serve the husband, cultivate the land and work elsewhere to earn money. The most stunning image are all the women walking deeply bent along the roads with loads on their backs weighing up to 80 kilos. Beside men walk leisurely. And above all there is an alarming degree of sexual violence. You need a lot of strength and resilience to be a woman in Eastern Congo. And resilience is there. And strength. Meet the women of Mumosho.

I come to Mumosho to have a tapping training together with Amani Matabaro who is originally from there and has created an organization to support projects in his community. Specially for women and children. With us are also Cate Haight and Rebecca Snavely from the US who supports and funds Amani´s projects through their Action Kivu (www.actionkivu.org).

15 women are gathered in a small room of bricks that we have borrowed from one of the primary schools in Mumosho. Beautifully dressed as women always are in Congo. Ready to learn and and see if this tapping really can make a change.

I ask about the symptoms of trauma. One of the women, Françoise, a single mother of five children, says with an obvious experience:
“We know trauma very well here. Too well. Trauma is like a wound inside your heart. It hinders you from feeling fine or happy. When you are traumatized you get weak. A piece of land that used to take one day to cultivate will instead take over a month. You have headaches no matter what medicine you take. The heart beats so hard that it hurts. And sleeping is just something you dream about being able to do”

The other 15 women in the room nods acknowledging and start speaking very openly about the problems women live through. Mapendo, who also is a councellor for people living with hiv and Aids tells she was thrown out of her house by her in-laws because she had only given birth to four girls and no boy.  She stands up and adds to what Francoise said:

“When you are traumatized people look at you they ask if you are sick, because you look sad and miserable. Young people look old.” She straightens the beautiful scarf she skillfully has arranged around the hair and gives us a smile.

Apart from being a deeply inequal society Eastern Congo has been the scene for violence and war since 15 years back when the genocide in Rwanda ended and spilled over the border to neighbouring Congo. The reasons for the conflict are many but a vital component for making it long lasting is the fact that the area is very rich in minerals – minerals needed in all electronic devices used in the world: specifically mobile phones and laptops (see enoughproject video). Mumosho is right on the border between the two countries and have been therefore been looted and attacked too many times. One armed group after the other coming and accusing the population for supporting the other groups. And therefore punishing them.

“You know, we so much need a technique like the tapping to help ourselves and others” says Esperance Mapendo who is a nurse and participated in a TTT training already some months ago (see “Peace Tappers in Mumosho”  further down in the blog).

“Women have suffered a lot here and still do. In their marriages, in the community and from the violence of this ongoing armed conflict. Probably 80 percent of us are traumatized”.

All of the women get into the discussion about trauma. Very engaged.  One after the other they continue giving more examples of how people get traumatized. We note them down on the blackboard:

-Women who have been raped get traumatized – not only from the rape itself but also for being pointed at by the others in the community. The shame feels so bad that she get traumatized again. They often isolate themselves.

- A woman who gives birth after being raped will also suffer also for that. And the child will be traumatized too since they are seen as children of the enemy.

- People living with hiv and aids are also marginalized and feel shame – just because they are sick and people have a lot of prejudices.And they also fear death and that their children will be orphans.

- Children who are orphans of war or aids are also traumatized. They see other children being taken care of – but they, they are alone.

-Many women are left by their husbands. Some men marry and then after producing a lot of children they leave and get another wife. But still they will ask the first woman for the money she earns to buy things for the new wife. No wonder getting traumatized while trying to care for all the children by oneself in that way. One feels like dying.

- If you don´t get pregnant fast enough after marriage your husband will leave you. Nobody will marry you again.

- When your husband dies, you and you children loses the right to the house and the land. That gives a trauma for survival.

-Families who have had their houses looted or burnt down by different armed groups don´t feel safe in their homes. And as soon as they see a soldier they get traumatized again.

Etc, etc, etc

Even Amani, being from the community gets amazed by the reality the women live in.

“We must start discussing these questions in the community so tht things can change!“ he says. Applaud from the women.

Then we list all the symptoms of trauma that the women have recognized in themselves and others in the community. When the list is already long one of the women says:

“I think this list is long enough, and do you know, some people have ALL these symptoms!: headaches, difficult to sleep, getting angry without reason, feeling isolated, lack of appetite, feeling weak… and even more. Imagine the lives we live!”

We start practicing TTT. First how to do it on themselves. Then they treat each other two by two. We regroup the plastic chairs to give some space to each couple. “Can we start?” asks Esperence. And they do. Silence falls over the little room. Only the sound of children repeating French sentences from the next classroom is heard. When finishing the tapping the silence remains. The 15 women sit relaxed, a bit leaned back. Beatrice, a widow with nine children, sits up with a smile, breaking the silence by saying:

“Wow, this technique is nice. I was like somewhere else during the tapping – like in paradise – feeling like  flying”.

Everybody laughs and starts talking abut the experience of the tapping and how this could help the people in the community. We make a groups for discussing and then another list on the blackboard about how to reach out. A lot of suggestions appear.

Esperance, the nurse, makes a summary of  the discussions:

“We like this treatment! It is easy. We will use it and we promise we will spread this to as many as possible. We will also approach the leaders of our community. It will make a change in our society like the way I have changed myself. I have practiced since the first time I had the training last time you were here. You know my husband left me with all my kids. He went to live with another woman. It was a heavy burden for me and it made me deeply traumatized. Every time we met in the village we would fight – with slaps and fists! People used to say that I was crazy like a mad woman.

But now after having used this treatment I can forgive my husband. I don´t fight with him anymore when we meet. I have realized that it is a normal problem, something that happens to many, not only to me. Now people say: “What has happened to her? She is so calm!”

She continues: “Yes, I have really changed. And I want others to experience the same thing.

We should have a special place where people could come and get treated and learn. Like a center. In that way we would reach many people and make it more formal and recognized. There we could also have discussions about gender related questions so that we can start changing the roles of men and women. “

Laughter and applauds. From the women and us.

Esperence´s comment confirms to me and Amani that we should do our best to create a Peace Trauma Tapping Center in Mumosho.

To do this we would need funding to compensate some of these women to do the trauma tapping and to pay rent for a house to be in.  50-100 SEK or 10 USD per month would take us a long way Do You Want To Join us to make it real and in that way be part of making a difference in Eastern Congo?

Click our DONATE page…. anything is more than nothing!

ps. To know more about the confllict in DR Congo check Enough project’s (www.enoughproject.org) video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aF-sJgcoY20&feature=player_embedded

Just have to share this story about Charles, a former child soldier from Gulu in the northern part of Uganda. I know Charles  through the project that I work with since many years: The World´s Children´s Prize www.worldschildrensprize.org.

Charles  was kidnapped and forced in to the LRA – Lord Resistance Army in Uganda – when he was about 10 years old. He was a soldier for over three years. After escaping and getting back in to his community he was later invited to US to cycle around Ohio to raise money for an organization campaigning to make people aware of what happens to children in war zones like Uganda.

Sounded all well. Charles also turned out to be a very good cyclist. But instead of being gratified for his participation he ended up being used as a slave – working for the manager of the project on his farm taking care of and cleaning for the cows, horses and sheep, making fences, moving heavy stones, driving the tractor and loading whatever etc etc. He was not  allowed to eat with the family, not even getting good food. He should just always do what the manager commanded him to do.

Not only that. He had to go around telling about his experiences as a child soldier over and over again at different events. Every time he got re-traumatized and had difficult to sleep because of the nightmares haunting him. The organization said they supported the building of a school in his home village and that his family back in Uganda was getting money. But no money was sent.

Charles finally escaped after finding out how to use internet and getting in contact with an other former child soldier who had made her way in the US – writing a book and getting established in the society. Now Charles lives with a friend and has got help from a lawyer to work on his status in the US, studies English and want to take a drivers license to get himself a good job.

He says his experiences of humiliation and exploitation in the US have been even worse than being a child soldier. Because he was forced to be a soldier, but he chose voluntarily to come to the US.

I met him recently when I went to the US for some meetings. We sat in a café talking for quite some time. So long since we met! Then we had a tapping session together with another friend, Tasnim, on a bench in the Boston Common Park. It was the best and most peaceful place we could find even though it was cold under the full moon of November. 

Charles and Tasnim in Boston Common Park. We are all friends from The Wolrd´s Children´s Prize.

Some days later I talked to Charles over Skype:

”When you started the tapping I wondered really what that was all about. But I thought: “Let me try.” And just after a moment I started feeling really, really good. It was GREAT! I felt so relaxed and warm even though we were outside and it was kind of cold. (laughter)

That evening I went to bed at 8.30. I never used to go to bed that early! And I slept till past 8 am the next morning. I slept like the day I was born! Like a baby! I didn´t wake up even one time during the night. Before I only slept one-two hours at a time. I have a lot of medicines for sleeping. But they never gave me this kind of sleep. I could have slept even longer, but my neighbour knocked on my door.

I love this tapping very much. I feel really, really peaceful when I do it. It is so cool! I have to say – that this is the very best science. The one who found this treatment is very smart – he knows exactly how the body works. The tapping goes direct in to to the head, to the mind. I am so happy that somebody could find out such a treatment. It helps me so much. We do it all the time now – me and my friend who was also a child soldier.

Everybody can see how I have changed after this tapping. They say: ”What has happened to him? Why is he smiling all the time.” And I say: ”I´m finally being me again”. I hope that the sad me never comes again. And if he does – I will tap him away.” ( a big smile and laughter)

I am so happy that i finally could meet Charles and give him this tool. When I last met him in 2003 I didn´t know TTT. And Charles didn´t know English. Keep tapping Charles!

TTT training on subway train number one in New York.

Went for a meeting in the UN building in New York the other week. I have this friend there who is a highly skilled “connector”. She wanted me to meet some people and tell about our work. That was among others the buddhist sister Chan Khong from Vietnam who for over 50 years has been working with one of my life heroes and role models: poet, peace activist and monk Thich Nhat Hanh. If you haven´t read any of his books – I can highly recommend them ( www.plumvillage.org). There was also Laura Hassler from the Netherlands who has started Musicians without borders (www.musicianswithoutborders.com). After the meeting I went to sit in the meditation room initiated by the Swedish former UN Secretary General, Dag Hammarskjöld. The solid rock in the middle makes the room very still. A contrast to the rest of New York.

When I came back to the UN reception hall to my big surprise a friend from Sweden and Sierra Leone came in through the door: Hjalmar Joffre-Eichhorn who is doing theatre work in reconciliation processes in different parts of the world. Since five years he is based in Kabul in Afghanistan (www.ahrdo.org). 

After laughing at this serendipity and exchanging experiences about life since we last met, Hjalmar asked if I wanted to join him  to see a theatre performance in the Latin American areas  of New York – portraying the difficulties of being immigrant in the US. “Of course” I said. We left the UN building and walked towards the subway train number 1 where three of Hjalmar´s Afghan colleagues joined us. 

When entering the subway train and finding space to sit down in spite of the rush hour, one of them, Salim Rajani, asked me: “Could you please teach me that trauma tapping? Hjalmar showed us once in Kabul but I don´t really remember how to do it properly”. “Of course” I said “just a pleasure. But it has to be here in the train because this is the only time we have together. Is that OK with you?” “No problem!” was Salim´s non-hesitant answer.  

So I started tapping Salim and explaining the technique at rush hour on the red line of the New York subway train between Wall Street and the Bronx. People were watching. But nobody really cares in a city like this. For a theatre worker like Salim a stage or a subway train makes no difference. He was happy. I was happy And we proved it again: TTT can be taught any where at any time as long as the participants feel comfortable with the place. 

xxxxxxx

A couple of weeks later I got an email from Salim who was then back in Kabul:

 “Dear Gunilla

Thank you for teaching me the Trauma Tapping methodology and sending me your web address. I downloaded all videos.

I just had a  training with victims of the war, mainly widows, in Afghanistan and did  Trauma tapping. We used the TTT when they were telling their story. It was really great and useful!

I could not take any pictures this time because the participants were too conservative. But next time I do the Tapping I will take some. 

With this view of Lake Kivu seen from Bukavu in DR Congo we want to wish you a peaceful and happy new year of 2012 with some lines from the Vietnamese monk, poet and peace activist Thich Nhat Hanh.

“The source of love is deep in us and we can help others realize a lot of happiness. One word, one action, one thought can reduce another person’s suffering and bring that person joy.”

And one action can be to pass on TTT to somebody close to you or tell about it to somebody you meet. Be well.